Frazier Family Update

Frazier Family Update

This past July, our family celebrated 4 years together, complete, as four. It is safe to say that our lives have changed quite a bit in the 4 years of being mom and dad to Marcus and Shayla. Our instagram content and profiles have definitely benefited from their antics and photogenic faces. 

For many of you reading this, you may have some of the details of their story and how we became a family, but for most, you have simply been cheering us on from afar. To those that know our story intimately and for those who simply comment and cheer us on, we want to thank you.

Explaining their story in detail over the internet will never be my intention or goal. Their story is theirs, and they have a right to share it with whoever they want.

The main reason for this post isn’t to share/glorify/or bring attention to our family but to ask for HELP…

Over the past three years, our family has been in an ongoing court battle concerning future resources and helps for Marcus and Shayla in the form of Federal Adoption Assistance. (You can read more about that here…  (www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/f_subsid.pdf). Long story short, because of the trauma and experiences that Marcus and Shayla went through, and because they are a sibling group, and because they are a racial minority, they qualify for resources.

These resources include…

• A Fully funded adoption 

• Tenncare through adolescence (which helps cover Counseling, Occupation Therapy, Speech Therapy, etc. All of which we have already utilized or are utilizing currently.

• Monthly Stipends that help cover the cost of caring for kids from trauma until they turn 18. (These are basically like normal foster care payments to help cover kids costs) For 4 years we have not received one payment for Marcus and Shayla because they are in Private Foster Care.

Here is the part that some may disagree about that I would like to address. I know that I have a lot of people that will read this simply as a family seeking a handout from the government. The truth is until you become a foster parent, you won’t understand the burden. Many of you know the burden of parenting, which is relentless. Add in early childhood trauma that you had nothing to do with. You are simply now the caretaker of figuring it out and mapping out a successful path for your children while they continue to unpack it. 

Some of you may not believe that the effects of childhood trauma are real, but I can tell you that parenting a kid from trauma is different. Our parents can tell you that being a grandparent to a child from trauma is different. Our siblings can tell you that being an aunt or uncle to children from early childhood trauma is different. So, before we hear adoption assistance is simply a handout, I would challenge you to define the difference between a handout and a resource.

Another reason we continue fighting for this for our kids and our family is because our children deserve it. For all that they have been through, they have earned it. They didn’t ask for any of it, yet they have and continue to persevere. We have been fighting this fight for three years. It has been exhausting. About a year ago, we were faced with a decision to keep pursuing this or to give it up, and move on, missing out on resources we believe is rightfully theirs.  Our decision came down to one thing that I believe every parent can understand. We asked ourselves the question, “Can we look back on this time in our lives and say we did everything in our power to fight for what we believe is right for our children?” In asking that question, we forged ahead knowing that although the battle may be long, God’s grace is sufficient.

So, why am I writing this now….

It’s been three long years. In our effort to remain private, we have grown lonely. In our individual efforts to ask God in prayer, we have become weak. In our waiting, we have grown numb to the pain and the burden.

If we have held on to anything, sometimes simply by a thread, in the last 4 years it has been Paul’s words in Romans 5 in regards to suffering…

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

God has given us great hope that is not contingent on a court decision. We know that whatever comes, God has given us peace to move forward.

We desire to be found faithful in this season. We want to be able to hear the words that we have fought the good fight and kept the faith….but we need your help.

Our next and potentially last court hearing is October 19th. In this hearing a court of appeals will determine if the ruling that the court made in our favor in February will be upheld or if they will overrule his decision. We have felt, increasingly, over the last few weeks that to best prepare for this important day it is imperative that we approach it with prayer and a season of fasting. 

Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to fast.

However, we have put together a resource to connect us with those that we love who would be willing to pray during this upcoming season.

Starting September 29, starting a 21 day period we will open a virtual prayer room specifically centered around the weight of this upcoming decision.

We would love, if you feel lead for those around us to sign up for a time during the 24 hour day for 21 days to pray. I don’t need you to pray an hour a day. We are simply wanting people to pray and feel the support of knowing that somewhere in each hour of the day, someone is praying.

The link is here:

https://www.24-7prayer.com/signup/d9321b

Feel free to sign up and be a part.

Here are the specific things we are asking God to do and ways we are asking him to move based on the faithfulness of his character.

• Pray for clarity of the court to understand both sides of arguments so that they may make the most informed and supported decision possible.
• Pray that October 19th represents some form of finality to the situation going on with our family.
• Pray that God either grants the resources we believe our family deserves, or gives us clarity and confidence to give the best care without them.
• Pray especially for our kids as this day approaches. We have tried to explain as best we can what we are fighting for. Still, there is an anticipation and anxiety awaiting the days following the court date where we could finalize adoption. (Otherwise known as getting last names changed by Shayla.)
• Pray for Audrey and I to remain faithful and consistent in our trust that God is good.
• Pray that the injustice we believe our kids and family has faced within this court fight will be made right.

We started this journey over 4 years ago. We never could have imagined how God would have used two kids to grow us and shape us closer to his image. We are praying that this upcoming date will be another chance to plant a flag in the ground, and raise an ebenezer to show another instance in which God has been faithful to us in His promise that He will never leave or forsake us.

With Love,

Jordan